the missed spaces, the missed places, the missed times, the missed rhymes, the missed persons I could have been or will be, the fear that restricts me, the choices that elate me, the food that prolongs, the life that kills and opens and winds up and scares and tears and screws, inspires and heightens and pitches and rolls and drowns and crowns and takes hold of and molds and breaks and pours into and empties and burns.

and here we steal away together

recorded 28.1.17

In the bath

Through steam and smoke

A poem broke softly the surface of my mind

Mimicking our limbs

As they rose from the water

More exotic birds’ slender necks

Than knees and elbows

 

I held my breath

Heartbeat slowing

Held my mind

Thoughts slowing

Hoped I might hold time

Summon these seconds

To dissolve on my tongue like

Sugar cubes

 

I lost the poem

I saw it float out the window

From the corner of my eye

As you held me with your gaze

 

You held me in the moment

You held the moment out to me

To be unwrapped experienced internalized

 

You cut down a battle in my mind to sow a field of wheat and wild flowers

Who know only the dirt and rain and wind

Nothing of time or thoughts or fear

 

From this field five days later

I see the place I had created from, for years

Fear, and

My inclination

For pain

 

You held me with your gaze

So that I might discover

In the space between our green eyes

The potential to create from a place of pleasure

recorded 22.1.17