the missed spaces, the missed places, the missed times, the missed rhymes, the missed persons I could have been or will be, the fear that restricts me, the choices that elate me, the food that prolongs, the life that kills and opens and winds up and scares and tears and screws, inspires and heightens and pitches and rolls and drowns and crowns and takes hold of and molds and breaks and pours into and empties and burns.

and here we steal away together

dear a

dear a,

you are ten years old now. i remember holding your heavy wiggling body years ago now. we were both different versions of our same self. i am here still, your aunt. i will never be the family member who sends the perfect gifts at the proper occasion. i will be physically present with our family only sporatically. i am always here for you, here in my home. doing the dance i need to be doing in my life. and you are part of that dance. know a, that if you ever need a home, i will provide one for you. it may be a dear friend’s floor, but you will not have to worry about a roof and a kind heart in your presence, while you sleep. which i must say, these days is becoming once again, a rare privilage. the right to a safe home. a, know i am here for you in this way, no questions will be asked on my end. my home-family-tribe is your home-family-tribe.

and as you turn ten and enter a most intense and unique phase of your life, know you are also not alone. your journey through your body and mind is completely unique to you, in this phase, at this time of metamorphosis, as it is always unique to you. but know, as you move through this path shedding snake skins along the way, as you and the path change side by side, with eachother’s shadows and moments of sun beams caressing you as they caress the dirt below your feet, know this experience of change, this is not unique. this is a state which all humans experience. so you are not alone. trust you are not alone. ask others whom your trust, about their experience during times of change. i promise you, time and time again, with an open heart, you will see-feel how you are not alone. what you believe-feel is strange-scary-unfamiliar, i promise you another human has believed-felt this as well. we can learn to not fear, through one another, with one another.

i will send you a book to read. it has been a trusting friend to me during a number of confusing times. i cherish the words which i share with you, the words of another’s mind. how wonderful, how awe-some, that as humans we can share experience.

with love your aunt,

together-strong-peace-dance

stephie

stone soup∆my offering

17.11.18