the missed spaces, the missed places, the missed times, the missed rhymes, the missed persons I could have been or will be, the fear that restricts me, the choices that elate me, the food that prolongs, the life that kills and opens and winds up and scares and tears and screws, inspires and heightens and pitches and rolls and drowns and crowns and takes hold of and molds and breaks and pours into and empties and burns.

and here we steal away together

18?19.3.19-28.3.19 the revolutionary act of standing still in rays of winter sun and the roaming part of human beings

upsidogi walks

past shadow of dead raven

a wet print in dirt

always moving through

shadows of the history

vessel-body holds

upsi walks in pain

stays-dreams… remembers! to get

her strong peace dance on!

awake! plethora, new

ways of being born explode

spring’s sexy teachings!

/// HEARTH GATHERING

set stage with objects

expectations stone crumbles

human enters right

or wrong don’t matter

to sniffing dog stop-smell-lick

experience>know. \\\

still as dead march night

waxing-almost-full moon she’s

always spinning round ∆self-portrait-one-version-of-me∆

bees flock to pussy

willow neon pollen sprouts

hive feasts together

EXPERIMENTS IN REVERSING fear produces>adrenaline<also produced by excitement TRANSFORM FEAR

alone

boxed up this body

surrounded me with walls-borders

cut off vessel cracks

feels-knows pain blood spilt

down drain sap seeps from bark feeds

me different way to be

together

m manifests them

self a tree before me sways

moans seed pods rustle

of the smiles who

found each other two unique

bodies together

strong peace dance i see

for upsidogi is in

dynamics of three

whether sloth or snake

squirrel, don’t matter

i’m a climber-dancer know

other vessels and

bodies by their shape by the

story they tell of

themselves the way they

grow bend break dance with wind’s dance

and crow echo caws

tracks change hear clicks same

as tree-wind-dance moans each beats

of ecosystem

caw and echo sound

arrival of a new way

to be together

share a day of play

scamper tree to tree find seeds

sprouting joyously

crow and echo call

chimes collide in remise

under waning moon

pulls last blood-dark-drops from kunt

upsidogi finds

her shadow-prints her versions

who lived in this swamp

trust trust their presence

watch-learn their variety

it’s in everyone

shame-my-moat circles

fortress of isolation

denial feeds fear

TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO STAND UP AND SCREAM TO BE OUTRAGED BY OUR SELF IMPRISONMENT THE COURAGE THAT TAKES

xx we got this

golden tears for queers

fall on the streets of berlin

from my dripping hands

4x flows behind

as me licks eyes of berlin

upsidogi dance

with-through city drops trust-trusts

who dances with me?

i accept your cum

into fresh-blood-shed womb my

pleasure ritual

to heal my anger

violence against kunt bodies

injustice. stop. now.

life time of anger

can’t resurrect our killed parts.

does divide living.

WE NEED COURAGE, I

ASKED. I LOST THREE OBJECTS.

THREE HUMANS ARRIVE.

29.3.19-7.4.19 new mooon laid a blue – egg upsi found against the - walls crumble to dirt

16.3.19-17.3.19 ∆two cogs of being