the power of joy
created by and for my
own perfect body
boundless
we got this
upsidogi you are not alone. upsidogi you must go through yourself to find other humans. to feel other humans. go through yourself, through that hazy hanging fog wall. walk into it. there is more beyond it. you and humans can-will together-strong-peace-dance. don’t stay in the fog-fear-mask. <Apr 14 recorded 18.4.17>
upsidogi gets angry. angry at all the money and all the pain. upsidogi gets angry at all the addictions. she feels them hungry in her stomach. she feels fast in her chest. she needs to do. what. run. run away from herself. kill. kill what is in-in-front of her. scratch-pull-beat hunger. feed it. upsidogi races-trips-tumbles-chained-pulled-follows her hungry demon salivating to-at the well. upsidogi failed. fell. hurt. sad. guilt. stop. watch. learn. trust. try. again. together-strong-peace-dance.
we got this
peace is not thrilling
it is walking without words
it is sipping tea.
peace is flocks flying
south, some dropping dead into
slow swelling gray sea,
eroding mud cliffs
an orgasm in the sand
then sleep. slow heart beat.
slow down upsidogi. stop and smell wet leaves. the sweat soaked mattress. stop-feel-learn the mundane state of peace. gray rain drops in front of a gray facade before a gray sky. peace. your sitting amidst it. stop-feel-learn it.
the crow and the echo caw. upsidogi floats. visits her alters. images-objects-nature-strength. representations of together-strong-peace-dance. harmonies. upsidogi floats and finds-feels-learns that she spins. she comes and goes to spinning. when upsidogi spins she is the dreidel. she is together-strong-peace-dance from her very center. and upsidogi remember-knows how she spun as stephie∆child on the floor <Apr27>, in the water, down the hill with robin∆hood∆hound. and when upsidogi stopped she turned upsidedown. sitting on her head. next to robin∆hood∆hound. upsidogi always knew how to upsidogi-dance. she was told no though, do not spin do not turn upsidedown. she was called wiggle-worm. she could not be still. they told upsidogi, be still, but don’t be weird. don’t spin in circles. don’t turn upsidedown. don’t touch yourself. talk. faster. be quiet. be heard. not so loud. not so aggressive. not now. not for you. your not enough yet. not you.
upsidogi don’t forget to spin and to go upsidedown.
we got this!