upsidogi throws the golden bead offering. upsidogi asks how she can be the wizard∆peace∆warrior. how will she know what to do. upsidogi dances and floats. she forgets about her very important question. she moves from food to smoke to sweet-smoke to box to book. then the book from her mother gives her the answer. forgiveness. when it is possible, choose forgiveness and heal this part of upsidogi, and heal this part inside the other. upsidogi understands. m speaks of this too, how forgiveness is sacred. upsidogi understands ín this way. without forgiveness upsidogi sees the path between the two beings as a path of washouts and mud and scary turns where she can not see the next step. upsidogi sees, she must walk that path again, feel it, and chose to transform it, into a path through open fields which rise to the horizon and sun-wind-sky-birds, she smells clean water before she hears its voice before she sees it and the sunbeams on its surface. upsidogi begins to understand how she can transform with forgiveness and upsidogi remembers-sees-knows she has done this last night. upsidogi forgave through offering joy to a path walked again and again in fear and pain. upsidogi walked with joy and trust and upsidogi felt this path create a smile which transforming her, a smile that shone reflecting in the sun which beamed off m's face.
upsidogi wants to write as upsidogi, but when she has to go back days, to tell the story of now, she stutters. she hesitates as upsidogi and she must experience a shedding of ali and of stephie. as upsidogi writes this, she hears a blue∆dipped∆raven, close by, above and behind. she hears a blue∆dipped∆raven and she remembers she has just made the offering and how the ritual was different. less controlled. things were dropped and parts were not performed ‘well'-right’. but it was fun. upsidogi did not get mad at herself when she dropped things, when she was more like squirrel than like lizard. and so she threw the golden bead out the window with joy and she thinks it fell in the ivy where small∆brown∆bird-flocks live, which was what puffed∆hopping∆bird was when it was alive. and now upsidogi click to the altar where she buried puffed∆hopping∆bird and upsidogi click to the blue∆dipped∆ravens. this is some of the now that upsidogi wants to share about, these things that are unfolding. how there is a rippling outward and back to her. she wants to tell of this magic-nothing because she knows it is important.
on the way to prancing∆silver∆hound upsidogi listens to someone sing-play-strum to a song by bowie who lived in the neighborhood which they were riding through the now, as the song was being sung. upsidogi believes that the someone who is sing-play-strumming knows that this is where bowie lived and this is why they sing these songs in this place which is a train moving through berlin. and maybe they go back and forth all day and night, little back and forths singing bowie songs. or maybe they go around the whole city and sing songs by the humans who lived-live in each neighborhood. and they circle the city with these human voice-waves are always moving through berlin, the voices of the humans who love-sing-share-live-berlin. upsidogi will tell herself this story because it will make her feel-joy-courage walk with her shoulders back and head up and little smile that she can feel arriving in her right ear, she can feel it now. these are the stories upsidogi shares. to spread the shoulders-back-head-up-smile-dance. to feel-be-do the together-strong-peace-dance.
upsidogi shares stories.
upsidogi wants to paint the black fabric that hangs in the window, that keeps light off the table, to keep the nest more cool. but now upsidogi knows that black fabric is also black flag, has always been black flag to some humans looking out their window to the hinterhof, who want-need to see black flag. so upsidogi understands now she has been sending out a ripple that is returning back. and upsidogi feels it is a peace-ripple.
trust-trust
upsidogi gave a trust-trust and peace-anarchy to the bench where she met prancing∆silver∆hound. the bench next to the water fountain and under the trees and in between all the drawings and sculptures and paintings and fear and hope and love. a powerful bench, between all of these things and upsidogi gave a trust-trust and peace-anarchy to it. upsidogi knew in her body what to do.
things to do. lots of important things to do. to be the wizard∆peace∆warrior which now upsidogi knows she is. as stephie she thought she was an artist. as ali she thought she was a writer. as upsidogi she knows she is the wizard∆peace∆warrior. that is what this-her-here-now is.
upsidogi realizes today that to be the wizard∆peace∆warrior she must also be stephie and ali sometimes. they all need each other. to take care of each other. to keep going. they all need to love each other and be kind to each other. they can not hate each other. they hated each other for a long time and did not help each other, they tried to kill each other. now they all live together and help each other to fill up, to become wizard∆peace∆warrior upsidogi must accept that she is also stephie and ali, that all of the time she is all of them, she must accept her versions. she must take care of her versions.
we got this
upsidogi was on her way to prancing∆silver∆hound who is together-strong-peace. or this is what upsidogi sees-feels. and upsidogi remembers that prancing∆silver∆hound told upsidogi that she sees-feels what upsidogi sees-feels-as-together-strong-peace, in upsidogi. upsidogi and prancing∆silver∆hound stand before each other in this way and see-feel this together-strong-peace in and between each other. upsidogi now sees how bringing together this state, bringing together themselves, upsidogi and silver∆prancing∆hound are powerful, aware, make the connections, drop-peace-drops.
we got this.
silver∆prancing∆hound has a lot to share with upsidogi. upsidogi has a lot to learn-feel. because she knows humans can not feel-feel everything themselves. they must learn-feel from each other so that they can do the peace-dance.
and this is how upsidogi knows it in her body.
silver∆prancing∆hound came before a hound, which would become her and her fathers hound. upsidogi knows this hound was robin∆hood∆hound to stephie∆ali∆upsidogi. this hound to stephie∆ali∆upsidogi died as robin∆hood∆hound and was found as nara∆hound, in the same winter-time in a different place. upsidogi will cry-up-happy if she must cry, because she knows that robin∆hood∆nara found humans who could take care of them when they left upsidogi. upsidogi must trust-trust and forgive herself and robin∆hood∆hound and feel love-peace-joy for silver∆prancing∆hound and her father and nara∆hound that they have each other. and she must feel love-peace-joy for upsidogi and robin∆hood∆nara that they know of each other now.
love is limitless can not be held only grows when planted do not desire-grasp-suffocate it
cry-up-happy-love-joy-strong-together-peace-upsidogi